Last week during a florist commercial, I informed my husband that I didn't want flowers as a gift for Valentine's Day. He gave me a surprised, that's-not-what-I-was-planning look, but the five vases under my kitchen sink indicate that I've got this guy figured out. In the same breath, I mentioned that since our bathroom scale is still recovering from the Super Bowl gluttonfest, we might want to forgo the heart-shaped box of chocolates as well.

I realize that I just made things hard on my guy. He doesn't have free time on his hands to scheme up an amazing gift, so any little effort is appreciated. I just don't think my appreciation for a bouquet of roses and chocolates filled with pink goo is worth $50. That's not my love language. (Did I hear a, "Say what?")

For 20 years, author Gary D. Chapman has been teaching couples and families how to love and receive love using five love languages: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. Chapman's book, "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts,” explains how individuals give and receive love differently, and when a couple's love languages do not match, they may not appreciate each other's efforts.

In preparation for this Valentine's Day, think about the times your honey has appreciated you the most. Was it something you did for him/her? Was it a surprise gift you bought? Understanding your own love language will not only explain why roses and chocolates might not make your heart skip a beat, but also help you communicate with your partner the things that you really appreciate.

If your favorite thing to do with your sweetie is to hire a sitter and go out to dinner, to the movies, to Lowe's, or even the grocery store, then you might value Quality Time with your partner.

If it's the little things he does that makes your heart go pitter patter like giving the kids a bath when it's not his turn, folding the laundry, filling up your car with gas because he noticed it was getting low, then he speaks his love to you with Acts of Service. It doesn't take grand gestures for this person to feel the love, just bring him/her coffee in bed in the morning, fold and put away the laundry while he/she is away, or make a special dinner.

If you horde love notes, greeting cards, letters, anything with a quotation, if words of encouragement lift you up, and a negative comment can send you reeling, then you speak the love language, Words of Affirmation. Your partner should call on Shakespeare, e.e.cummings, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and start counting the ways he/she loves you; a greeting card would be OK, but a personal love note would earn major accolades.

With Physical Touch, you ignore the childish giggles—and no, not all men fall into this category. There's more to the love language of Physical Touch than being intimate with your partner. Do you hug regularly, give random kisses, love to hold hands, lean on each other on the couch? Then physical touch is your “thang.” Giving extra hugs and cuddles will fill your partner's "love tank,” and keep them feeling loved for days. Wanna go all out? A Tango lesson would give you quality time with each other and give you the physical love connection you desire.

Gift giving is the long-standing traditional Valentine's Day way of saying "I love you.” Those who look forward to gifts now as much as they did as a 5-year-old are likely to have the love language of Receiving Gifts. Big or small, a token of affection will make your partner feel special. Something that lasts—jewelry, shoes, clothing—are gifts that keep on giving every time they remind him/her of you.

Once you understand each other's language, then you can select an expression of love that he/she will really appreciate this Valentine's Day. A well-received gesture of love is a gift in itself, and might be just the thing needed to continue the effort  for the other 364 days of the year.