"Abject Misery" Centreville Author Talks Coping With Loss During the Holidays

Mary Rosenthol is an orphan, and so the hardest thing about the holidays isn't the trouble with traveling, finding the perfect gift or untangling Christmas light—it's being without her mother and her father. 

Both were victims of lung cancer—her mother died at the height of the Christmas season on Dec. 23, 2000. Her father died one year and seven months later to the day on July 23, 2002. 

Rosenthol, now 35, writes about coping with loss in her first book, "Terminal: Handling the Reality of Love and Loss," which hit the digital bookshelves earlier this month. 

The Centreville resident said she wrote the book just after her mother's death 13 years ago, but decided recently to send the manuscript to Tate Publishing, who offered her a book deal immediately. 

"It's about that first year of abject misery," Rosenthol said. "It's kind of like how I had to cope with grief. If we had blogs back then, I probably would have blogged about it. But blogs didn't exist." 

Rosenthol said she encourages grievers not to dwell on how things would be if their loved one hadn't died and to seek help through groups, a therapist or their church, if those things bring them comfort. 

She also recounts the story of her airline flight from California to Cleveland on Christmas Eve with her mother's body in the plane cargo hold.  

"(On the flight) all the people were talking about how they were running late ... I said to them, 'I'm sorry that you all are going to be late. I'm flying with my mother's body and we're not going to be late for anything," Rosenthol said. 

At that, some of the passengers began to cry.  "I felt kind of guilty, but I wanted them to realize, it can always be worse," she said. 

In the book,Rosenthol, an Irish Catholic, who converted to Judaism not long before her parents' deaths, talks about the differences in spirituality and religion. 

The book also includes the subheading, "People Say the Dumbest Things." 

Rosenthol said she thinks it's ridiculous how people become upset about long lines and other minor things during the holidays. 

"Feel blessed with whatever you have. Try to find the silver lining in any situation," she said. 

The book is available on Amazon.com and at the website MaryCRosenthol.tateauthor.com.